I am officially a graduate. There are so many things that I want to pen down.

For the past 4 years I kept questioning the path I took and actually til today I still do. The life today wasn't what I planned out 6 years ago. 6 years ago I wanted to do graphic design but decided to head to JC because it was the best choice. I had pretty amazing grades and I thought I was more suited for that academia lifestyle. 

I wanted to do psychology then changed to business - marketing. But all my dreams were dashed when I received my A level results. I got into a course I didn't even want. I could have went to an overseas university or a private one but nevertheless I took the offer. For reason simply because it is the most practical thing to do; it is a local university. However, I struggled to find my place in university. I was used to getting top grades before but I was one of the last in the class. I used to help and share notes with friends but I had to battle by myself. 

Throughout the years I just lost myself. I just did what I had to do.. It did get better with making solid friendships and some here As here and there but I still didn't find myself. I took up an internship, which I thought I wanted to do but made me realised that field was something I didn't want to be in. I went abroad for 3 months. I had fun but I still wasn't my own person.

I regret so many things - I should have put myself out there, have the courage to do things I was afraid to, applied for my internships etc. All these things I could only regret now. 

But I am not going to wallow in self pity and wish that I could turn back time and make a better decisions. My past doesn't dictate my future. There will be countless trials and errors ahead and this is one of them.

One thing good that came out from this is that I am more aware of things I want to do and achieve. The decision I made now may not be the most practical that my fellow university peers will not understand. But it is not their life nor their decision to make.